Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Please remember to get your mammograms... I mean, GO GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM!!! NOW!!! It's no secret that early detection saves lives. Only about 58 percent of American women over age 40 get annual mammograms. Huh? That's just crazy. I'm 31 and I've had 3! It shouldn't take losing someone you love to breast cancer to make you understand the importance. This is the month to do them... many places offer free screenings - just look in your local paper - for free. Free, people, so you have NO excuse!
I met a woman on Friday who discovered she had breast cancer at 24. She has since had double mastectomies and 3 reconstructive surgeries. She told me that she felt the lump but didn't believe it could be cancer because she was so young. So sad. She has 2 daughters who are 8 and 5. I can't imagine what she has been through. She is just one face of thousands upon thousands.
My hope is that all women be watchful over their breasts and do routine breast self examinations every month. That they get to know the size, shape and feel of their breasts, so any unusual lumps can be felt. In addition, that women take interest in seeking information related to the health of breasts. That women over 40 years of age should have a mammography screening every year... sooner if you have a history of breast cancer in your family.
The harsh reality is that it can happen to you and those you love. Do what you can to prevent it.
Angie
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
A Letter from Keri
Mom,
I miss you so much and especially tonight I wish you were here. I envy my friends who have their mom to go shopping with, to confide in and ask for advice from, take vacations with, and bring the grandkids over to visit. It’s so weird, sometimes I’m in the grocery store and I wonder if you ever used a debit card. As I sit here blogging, I wonder if you know what the internet is. I’m 33 years old and sometimes I feel so lost. It’s just not fair.
We’re alike in so many ways. I love my kids so much, just like you. My family means everything to me, just like you. I’m trying to be an awesome Mom and teach my children right from wrong, just like you. Sometimes I hear words coming out of my mouth and it sounds just like you. I wish I could tell you thank you.
Yet, I’m different too. You had perfectly manicured nails, I cut mine so short. Your house was always clean, why can’t I get rid of rings in my toilet? Some times my kids just seem to take me for granted, did we make you feel that way too? There are so many things I wish I could tell you.
The day before you died and I stood beside your bed and cried. You asked me what was wrong. I told you that all I wanted was for you to come back home. I lied, because I knew you wouldn’t be coming home. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell you that I loved you and tell that I couldn’t live without you. I wish that I’d told you that I loved you just one more time. You smiled at me and told me you would be coming home. You were so brave. Did you know? I’ve never told anyone this before now.
For so many years I was so angry. Angry at everyone and everything. I was so mad at God because he took you away. I just didn’t understand why he could take something so good away from me. I remember asking him why? Why, when there is so many bad moms out there did he have to take away a good one? It took me over ten years to forgive Him, I get my stubbornness from you too. When, I finally said that it was okay and finally let it go and forgave, it was okay. I knew I wasn’t letting you down. I sit here today and wish it wouldn't have taken me so long.
You’ve taught me more than you’ll ever know, in your life and death. You taught me to be strong. You taught me to forgive. You taught me to be honest. You taught me the importance of family. You taught me to not put things off until tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come. You taught me that its okay to sometimes put myself first. You taught me that it’s okay to be me.
I can still remember so many talks we had. I remember you telling me that as long as I told the truth, the consequences would never be as bad as if I hadn’t. I sit here now and think of all the things that I told you. Secrets that no one else will ever know. You weren’t only my Mom, but also my friend.
For instance, I remember when I didn’t want to go back to college. Dad didn’t talk to me for two weeks. I sat on the edge of the couch where you were laying and I told you how I felt. I was so worried that I would be letting him down if I didn't have some awesome career and make tons of money. You told me, “Not everyone has to put career first. That's okay. Someone’s got to be a Mom. Someone has to take care of the kids. There's nothing more important than that." You told me to do what made me happy. I am.
You were an awesome Mom. Just look at how your kids turned out. I know you’re proud. Your children are some of the few in this world that get to say that they had a good childhood. I have good memories. Sometimes I wish I could be a child again. Not many people can say that.
If I had to do it all over again, knowing that I’d lose you, I would. My life and all the experiences in it has made me who I am. I’m proud of that. I love you, Mom!
Keri
I miss you so much and especially tonight I wish you were here. I envy my friends who have their mom to go shopping with, to confide in and ask for advice from, take vacations with, and bring the grandkids over to visit. It’s so weird, sometimes I’m in the grocery store and I wonder if you ever used a debit card. As I sit here blogging, I wonder if you know what the internet is. I’m 33 years old and sometimes I feel so lost. It’s just not fair.
We’re alike in so many ways. I love my kids so much, just like you. My family means everything to me, just like you. I’m trying to be an awesome Mom and teach my children right from wrong, just like you. Sometimes I hear words coming out of my mouth and it sounds just like you. I wish I could tell you thank you.
Yet, I’m different too. You had perfectly manicured nails, I cut mine so short. Your house was always clean, why can’t I get rid of rings in my toilet? Some times my kids just seem to take me for granted, did we make you feel that way too? There are so many things I wish I could tell you.
The day before you died and I stood beside your bed and cried. You asked me what was wrong. I told you that all I wanted was for you to come back home. I lied, because I knew you wouldn’t be coming home. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell you that I loved you and tell that I couldn’t live without you. I wish that I’d told you that I loved you just one more time. You smiled at me and told me you would be coming home. You were so brave. Did you know? I’ve never told anyone this before now.
For so many years I was so angry. Angry at everyone and everything. I was so mad at God because he took you away. I just didn’t understand why he could take something so good away from me. I remember asking him why? Why, when there is so many bad moms out there did he have to take away a good one? It took me over ten years to forgive Him, I get my stubbornness from you too. When, I finally said that it was okay and finally let it go and forgave, it was okay. I knew I wasn’t letting you down. I sit here today and wish it wouldn't have taken me so long.
You’ve taught me more than you’ll ever know, in your life and death. You taught me to be strong. You taught me to forgive. You taught me to be honest. You taught me the importance of family. You taught me to not put things off until tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come. You taught me that its okay to sometimes put myself first. You taught me that it’s okay to be me.
I can still remember so many talks we had. I remember you telling me that as long as I told the truth, the consequences would never be as bad as if I hadn’t. I sit here now and think of all the things that I told you. Secrets that no one else will ever know. You weren’t only my Mom, but also my friend.
For instance, I remember when I didn’t want to go back to college. Dad didn’t talk to me for two weeks. I sat on the edge of the couch where you were laying and I told you how I felt. I was so worried that I would be letting him down if I didn't have some awesome career and make tons of money. You told me, “Not everyone has to put career first. That's okay. Someone’s got to be a Mom. Someone has to take care of the kids. There's nothing more important than that." You told me to do what made me happy. I am.
You were an awesome Mom. Just look at how your kids turned out. I know you’re proud. Your children are some of the few in this world that get to say that they had a good childhood. I have good memories. Sometimes I wish I could be a child again. Not many people can say that.
If I had to do it all over again, knowing that I’d lose you, I would. My life and all the experiences in it has made me who I am. I’m proud of that. I love you, Mom!
Keri
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
A Poem for Mom
Mom? Can You Hear Me?
Angela Jackson Dick
When I lay myself down at night
As my head hits the pillow and my eyes close
I say my prayers and thoughts usually turn to you
Wondering if I did everything right that day
All the things you taught me
Praying I had I learned what I should
You were my rock, my anchor
The one person I could always count on
Some days, I feel aimlessly lost
Missing something, missing someone
Then I look into the mirror and I find...
It's you, Mom, and you're staring back at me!
More and more, as the years pass
The slightest motions, the words I utter
They remind me so much of you
Cut from the same mold, I'd say!
Yet, in the quiet of the night
Tears well and I remember your touch
Your laughter, the tunes you would sing
The tapping of your fingernails, for whatever reason
I go back to those simpler times...
Times I could do anything because you believed in me
Yet, certain, if I failed, you'd still love me
Can you hear my whispers in the night?
Mom? Mom? Can you hear me?
You are my guiding light, I honor and cherish your memory
Painfully missing you is forever and please know...
Being a child of yours was truly my gift from God!
When I was little and I cried
You lovingly held me, and let the last tear fall
When I would scrape my knee
You'd bandage it up and say "be careful"
When my birthday was horrible, you smiled
And promised the next would be perfect
When I would lose my temper,
You had a way to calm me down
When my friends left me behind,
You gave me ice cream and said "they'll come around"
When I had a nightmare
You'd tuck me in your bed and reassure me you'd never let harm find me
When my first crush liked another,
You made me see it was his loss
Every single Christmas morning,
You made it one I would always remember
When I was overly dramatic about something,
Sweetly you said, "This too shall pass"
When I broke your heart with disappointment
You came to me and said, "I still love you"
I know that you think that I forgot all this,
And take all you sacrificed for granted,
But that's just not true
At times I'm stubborn, just like you,
But never doubt for half a second that I love you
I’m now grown up,
And have to bandage my own daughters’ knees
Oh, the many things you taught me
You'll always be the best mother
And I'll always be your baby girl
Mom? Can you hear me?
Angela Jackson Dick
When I lay myself down at night
As my head hits the pillow and my eyes close
I say my prayers and thoughts usually turn to you
Wondering if I did everything right that day
All the things you taught me
Praying I had I learned what I should
You were my rock, my anchor
The one person I could always count on
Some days, I feel aimlessly lost
Missing something, missing someone
Then I look into the mirror and I find...
It's you, Mom, and you're staring back at me!
More and more, as the years pass
The slightest motions, the words I utter
They remind me so much of you
Cut from the same mold, I'd say!
Yet, in the quiet of the night
Tears well and I remember your touch
Your laughter, the tunes you would sing
The tapping of your fingernails, for whatever reason
I go back to those simpler times...
Times I could do anything because you believed in me
Yet, certain, if I failed, you'd still love me
Can you hear my whispers in the night?
Mom? Mom? Can you hear me?
You are my guiding light, I honor and cherish your memory
Painfully missing you is forever and please know...
Being a child of yours was truly my gift from God!
When I was little and I cried
You lovingly held me, and let the last tear fall
When I would scrape my knee
You'd bandage it up and say "be careful"
When my birthday was horrible, you smiled
And promised the next would be perfect
When I would lose my temper,
You had a way to calm me down
When my friends left me behind,
You gave me ice cream and said "they'll come around"
When I had a nightmare
You'd tuck me in your bed and reassure me you'd never let harm find me
When my first crush liked another,
You made me see it was his loss
Every single Christmas morning,
You made it one I would always remember
When I was overly dramatic about something,
Sweetly you said, "This too shall pass"
When I broke your heart with disappointment
You came to me and said, "I still love you"
I know that you think that I forgot all this,
And take all you sacrificed for granted,
But that's just not true
At times I'm stubborn, just like you,
But never doubt for half a second that I love you
I’m now grown up,
And have to bandage my own daughters’ knees
Oh, the many things you taught me
You'll always be the best mother
And I'll always be your baby girl
Mom? Can you hear me?
Monday, November 14, 2005
I Dreamed About Mama Last Night
Artist/Band: Hank Williams, Jr.
Lyrics for Song: I Dreamed About Mama Last Night
(I've just been to heaven with someone so true I dreamed about mama last night
She read me the Bible like she used to do I dreamed about mama last night)
She never closed her eyes to sleep till we were all in bed
And on party nights till we came home she often sat and read
We little thought about it then for we were young and gay
Just how much mama worried when we children were away
We only knew she never slept then when we were out at night
That she waited just to know that we'd all come home all right
Why sometimes when we'd stay away until one or two or three
It seemed to us that mama heard the turning of the key
For always when we'd step aside she'd call and we'd reply
But we were all too young back then to understand the reason why
Until the last one had returned she'd always keep a light
For mama couldn't sleep until she kissed us all goodnight
She had to know that we were safe before she went to rest
For she seemed to fear the world might harm the ones she loved the best
And once she told me when you're grown to women and to men
Perhaps I'll sleep the whole night through I may be different then
And so it seemed that night and day we knew a mother's care
That always when we got back home we'd find her waitin' there
Then came the night that we were called together round her bed
The children're all with you now the kindly doctor said
And in her eyes there gleamed again that old time tender light
That told that she's just been waitin' to know that we were all right
She smiled that old familiar smile and prayed to God to keep
Her children safe from harm throughout the years and then she went to sleep
(My dream is a treasure that I'll always keep I dreamed about mama last night)
Lyrics for Song: I Dreamed About Mama Last Night
(I've just been to heaven with someone so true I dreamed about mama last night
She read me the Bible like she used to do I dreamed about mama last night)
She never closed her eyes to sleep till we were all in bed
And on party nights till we came home she often sat and read
We little thought about it then for we were young and gay
Just how much mama worried when we children were away
We only knew she never slept then when we were out at night
That she waited just to know that we'd all come home all right
Why sometimes when we'd stay away until one or two or three
It seemed to us that mama heard the turning of the key
For always when we'd step aside she'd call and we'd reply
But we were all too young back then to understand the reason why
Until the last one had returned she'd always keep a light
For mama couldn't sleep until she kissed us all goodnight
She had to know that we were safe before she went to rest
For she seemed to fear the world might harm the ones she loved the best
And once she told me when you're grown to women and to men
Perhaps I'll sleep the whole night through I may be different then
And so it seemed that night and day we knew a mother's care
That always when we got back home we'd find her waitin' there
Then came the night that we were called together round her bed
The children're all with you now the kindly doctor said
And in her eyes there gleamed again that old time tender light
That told that she's just been waitin' to know that we were all right
She smiled that old familiar smile and prayed to God to keep
Her children safe from harm throughout the years and then she went to sleep
(My dream is a treasure that I'll always keep I dreamed about mama last night)
Monday, October 17, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
You're Still Here
The music you're currently hearing is a song I thought fit this website well. I tried to find "The Rose" and "Why Me Lord", some of her favorite songs, but they we're on the site. Here are the lyrics to this one...
Artist: Faith Hill
Song: You're Still Here
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
And I know it couldn't be
But my heart believed
Oh it seems like there's something everyday
How could you be so far away
When you're still here
When I need you you're not hard to find
You're still here
I can see you in my baby's eyes
And I laugh and cry
You're still here
I had a dream last night
That you came to me on silver wings
And I flew away with you on a painted sky
And I woke up wondering what was real
Is what you see and touch or what you feel
'Cause you're still here
Oh you're everywhere we've ever been
You're still here
I heard you in a strangers laugh
And I hung around to hear him laugh again
Just once again
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
Artist: Faith Hill
Song: You're Still Here
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
And I know it couldn't be
But my heart believed
Oh it seems like there's something everyday
How could you be so far away
When you're still here
When I need you you're not hard to find
You're still here
I can see you in my baby's eyes
And I laugh and cry
You're still here
I had a dream last night
That you came to me on silver wings
And I flew away with you on a painted sky
And I woke up wondering what was real
Is what you see and touch or what you feel
'Cause you're still here
Oh you're everywhere we've ever been
You're still here
I heard you in a strangers laugh
And I hung around to hear him laugh again
Just once again
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
From Teresa
I used to spend a week or two with Aunt Jeannie & Uncle Rick in the summer since I was little. I was the oldest niece, so I got alot of love from the Aunts! Even after they had their own kids I still came to stay with them for a week in the summer. One summer in particular, she saved my life. I was 13 years old, standing at a fork in the road. I had already been through alot and I could have very well went the wrong direction with not much guidance from two confused divorced parents. She saw me standing there and snatched me up just in time and took me down the right side of the road. She took me into her home, with three children of her own and she showed me how a loving family related to each other and how people react to each other when they truly care. I didn't realize it at the time because I was a scared, confused, selfish, angry teenager. Sometimes I got angry with her because she was trying to protect me and I had never experienced that before. Instead of yelling and the show of tempers (like I was used to), we wrote letters to each other when we had problems. I had a hard time with confrontation. I love her more than anything and I give her alot of credit (and Uncle Rick) for my turning out to be a half-way decent human being. We had our trials and tribulations but they showed me how to handle them with love. The last time I saw her, Doug and I went to visit them in Louisiana, I didn't know it would be the last time, she seemed to be feeling really good but as we started home, we got a block from their house and I just started to cry and couldn't stop. Doug asked me why I was crying and I didn't know. I never really had a chance to thank her. She saved me with her great big heart and I will always love her.
Teresa Wright
Teresa Wright
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Poem from Aunt Bev
My Tribute to my Sister Jeannie
My sister is an angel and is so close to me,
We look alike and talk alike, and that's special you see.
I know that she is with me as I go through every day,
And I know that she is with you, too, wherever you may be
She was a kind and loving soul and still is today
We’ve learned a lot and loved a lot which was her special way
Although she was so ill, she was always there for others
To help them have a better day, but never was a bother.
She is missed so much by everyone but remains close in our hearts
To guide us and protect us even though we are apart
I know she's in good company in the great beyond
Cause many I have loved and lost are with her each and everyone
By: Bev Folkes
My sister is an angel and is so close to me,
We look alike and talk alike, and that's special you see.
I know that she is with me as I go through every day,
And I know that she is with you, too, wherever you may be
She was a kind and loving soul and still is today
We’ve learned a lot and loved a lot which was her special way
Although she was so ill, she was always there for others
To help them have a better day, but never was a bother.
She is missed so much by everyone but remains close in our hearts
To guide us and protect us even though we are apart
I know she's in good company in the great beyond
Cause many I have loved and lost are with her each and everyone
By: Bev Folkes
From Aunt Bev
I am the youngest of the girls. Jeannie was my big sister. She loved unconditionally. I lived with her and Rick when she was pregnant with Keri and I was pregnant with Melissa. We had so much fun and I learned a lot about mothering from her. We got very close and we talked often. I was there when she had her first surgery and we talked and cried through all the rest. I still have every card and letter she sent me. I was going to go help her with but she passed the morning I arrived. I feel so blessed to have been there. They raised three beautiful kids and she would be proud of them, not to mention her grandkids which are beautiful as well. Dixie was a godsend to the family and we love her alot .She fits in just like a glove. I miss Jeannie everyday and talk to her often.I miss her with all my heart.But I truely believe she is still here for all of us.
Aunt Bevie Frog
Aunt Bevie Frog
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Sunday, May 22, 2005
From Aunt Chard
Aunt Chard (Charlene) was one of my Mom's younger sisters, the fourth of five daughters. She posted this as a comment, but I decided to headline it so it wouldn't be missed by anyone. Thanks, Aunt Char!
Jeannie was a special soul who would be there at the drop of a hat no matter what it took. I miss her every second of every day. We would talk on the phone 10 times a day, every day. I was the little sister that knew nothing of life. I valued her opinion more than anything. There was NOTHING we couldn't talk about. The best times ,the worst times, my mentor, confidant, my sister. I love you and miss you. Your children are beautiful and would make you so proud. Your husband, their father, the greatest partner you could ever have, all a living legacy of your loving and living.
Jeannie was a special soul who would be there at the drop of a hat no matter what it took. I miss her every second of every day. We would talk on the phone 10 times a day, every day. I was the little sister that knew nothing of life. I valued her opinion more than anything. There was NOTHING we couldn't talk about. The best times ,the worst times, my mentor, confidant, my sister. I love you and miss you. Your children are beautiful and would make you so proud. Your husband, their father, the greatest partner you could ever have, all a living legacy of your loving and living.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
No One'll Ever Love Me
If you know me at all, you know I have a song for EVERYTHING! If I get even the slightest reminder of a moment in my life that was meaningful, I'll break into a song about it. It drives Ryan crazy:-) Songs have always helped me express emotions I can't find my own words for. I guess it's because the love of music, especially country, is in my blood.
This particular song was brought to my attention by Keri. It brought her to tears driving in her car the first time she heard it. Thanks for sharing it, big sis. It's an amazing song that portrays exactly the kind of Mom ours was. It REALLY takes me back. Have a listen and you'll see...
Click on the link below, then on the blue musical note... you might also want to grab a kleenex... or 5
http://members.aol.com/cyberlyric/rebecca.html#one
Angie
This particular song was brought to my attention by Keri. It brought her to tears driving in her car the first time she heard it. Thanks for sharing it, big sis. It's an amazing song that portrays exactly the kind of Mom ours was. It REALLY takes me back. Have a listen and you'll see...
Click on the link below, then on the blue musical note... you might also want to grab a kleenex... or 5
http://members.aol.com/cyberlyric/rebecca.html#one
Angie
Happy Birthday, Mom
Today my Mom would have been 57. Instead, she's forever 44. I was 17 when she died. I just couldn't comprehend how "superwoman" could be conquered. I spent many years in denial. It wasn't until I was a year and a half into therapy that I began to understand the depth of losing a mother, especially at that pivotal age. I was told early on by many people that time would make it easier. NOT true. My life has a huge hole in it. I still have moments when I completely break down sobbing because the sadness of missing her overwhelms me. I still get angry, too, thinking of what she's missing. Especially now that I'm a mother myself. I wish more than anything that she could have seen her children grow into adulthood. I wish she could hold her grandchildren and they could know her. She would have been an awesome Grandma. Now, I'm sure she's the best guardian angel ever;-) I also wish she could know Ryan. I wish he could see for himself what a ball of positive energy she was.
It baffles me that she has been gone almost 13 years. How is that possible? I can still hear her voice, feel her touch, and remember her smell. For whatever reason God called her to heaven, I know she's happy there. I know she's watching and taking care of us still. I take comfort in that. And the fact that we'll be together one day...for eternity...never having to say "goodbye" again.
I remember her last birthday. She was laying on the couch not feeling well. We baked her favorite Angel Food cake with marshmallow icing. I gave her a bottle of her favorite purfume, Red. I think Keri gave her a tape of "Beauty and the Beast". She loved that song. I don't remember what else she got. I do remember, though, that she was just happy we were all there couchside. I remember hoping when she blew out her candles that her wish would come true. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. Mine didn't.
Anyway, I'd love for everyone to contribute to this website, for ourselves, other women, and her grandchildren. She deserves a tribute. The people of this world would be blessed to know of her. She was, in my eyes, the most wonderful woman who ever walked this earth. She touched many, many people. Cancer sucks! And if this website gets awareness out there and saves only one life...it is worth it. I feel this is something she would be proud of.
I love you, Mom
Angie
It baffles me that she has been gone almost 13 years. How is that possible? I can still hear her voice, feel her touch, and remember her smell. For whatever reason God called her to heaven, I know she's happy there. I know she's watching and taking care of us still. I take comfort in that. And the fact that we'll be together one day...for eternity...never having to say "goodbye" again.
I remember her last birthday. She was laying on the couch not feeling well. We baked her favorite Angel Food cake with marshmallow icing. I gave her a bottle of her favorite purfume, Red. I think Keri gave her a tape of "Beauty and the Beast". She loved that song. I don't remember what else she got. I do remember, though, that she was just happy we were all there couchside. I remember hoping when she blew out her candles that her wish would come true. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. Mine didn't.
Anyway, I'd love for everyone to contribute to this website, for ourselves, other women, and her grandchildren. She deserves a tribute. The people of this world would be blessed to know of her. She was, in my eyes, the most wonderful woman who ever walked this earth. She touched many, many people. Cancer sucks! And if this website gets awareness out there and saves only one life...it is worth it. I feel this is something she would be proud of.
I love you, Mom
Angie
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